Thoughts

Obsessions

I find that I'm one of those people who become inflamed with enthusiasm when I discover something I'd like to learn or pinpoint a project I'd like to complete. I literally cannot rest until I've gathered all of the supplies, read practically everything the library/bookstore/internet have to offer. I fill notebooks with detailed notes and maintain spreadsheets, with the same exact info. I enthuse to family members for what has to feel like an eternity to them. My mind races with excitement and all of the possibilities (this is the second reason that I can hardly stand listening to music. It's noise on top of racing thoughts. Talk about a racket!).

For example, here are only a few things that I've been obsessing over lately:

San Diego- What to keep and what to get rid of before the move? I don't want to get rid of too much or too little, since we don't know if we'll choose a single family home or an apartment. I've already got different paint schemes planned and am making lists of things we might need, depending on what our new place is like. Pros and cons, 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom, yard or no yard? Will we have a foyer? A kitchen island? It goes on and on! Just want to make sure that we've taken every possible scenario into account.

Urban Homesteading- I am employeed full-time. While very gratifying in it's own way, with the commute, I have very little time left over for the things I'd like to do, outside of spending time with my family. But I'm always dreaming and researching about raising chickens, making my own yogurt and bread, canning my own homegrown fruits and veggies, etc. I get to dabble in these things from time to time (obviously excluding the chickens), but mourn the fact that I'm not doing them more often. Though with my recent discovery of 5 Minute Bread, I'm making a little headway there. But, related to the move, I may now have more time to do the things I'm drawn to. So I've been obsessing with figuring out how to do them in a potentially small space. "Where will I grow this? Where will I store that? How do I manage my time best to do all of it and still work part-time?" I draw the line at making my own clothes though.

Talking about clothes- Ya'll know how a move works. It's a great opportunity to pull what you have out and start to edit your belongings. Then you can "start fresh" in your new place. And I've been thinking about what I have (which is a lot) and why it feels like I never have anything to wear (a problem as old as time, no doubt). I've got pages of notes and a spreadsheet, detailing what I have and what feels like bajillions of outfit combinations, too. It's nerdy, but there it is. One green, military inspired cardigan features in a total of 23 different outfits. Obsessed much?

Some people keep a journal. A place to write down what's in their minds and hearts, jotting down thoughtful insights and documenting their lives. Not me. I have to write it all down in any old notebook at hand,all of these useless, needless thoughts, just to quiet my mind (bringing to mind the Pensieve. I could totally use one of those babies!). Then I have to organize it in a spreadsheet. All of those neat colums and rows, the color coded tabs, just soothe my fevered brain. Music to a wannabe perfectionist's soul.

So, I had to spill it all here, too. I'm actually almost beside myself with excitement. Remember how you felt as a kid when Christmas was getting closer and closer? You're so anxious and tense with anticipation, almost to the point where you feel ill. That feeling pretty much sums it up.

Whew! Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
This move almost can't come soon enough.